Regret

If I was given one chance to turn back time it would be the time when we fought hard.
Do you remember?

That one time when I yelled, I cried and I shouted at your face?
That one time when you remained silent (but God knows what's in your heart)?
That one time when I snatched your hand when you went for the door?
That one time when I yelled and constantly pushed you around?
That one time when I pinned you to the wall and hit you like a crazy lady?
That one time when I constantly hit you but you remained motionless, clueless and silent?
That one time when I constantly hit you until it hurts you started to cry?

Yes.
That one time.

Do you remember?

Well, I do.
I remember every bit of it very clearly.
And tears always fall every time the thought of it comes into my mind.

I am very sorry.
That is one of the thing that I regret the most.
Sorry.

What a jerk I was to be hitting you like that.
You have a lot to handle and yet I made it worst.
I always realize that but somehow I can't control myself.
Scary what love can do to me.
I know.
Because it scares me too.
It makes me afraid to love people.
What good does it do if you end up hurting the ones you love?

I'm sorry. I really am.

That guilty feeling can never be erased.

:(

~najwa
p/s: Sebab tetibe teringat.