NYR-New Year's Resolution [2014]

It's already 15th January 2014 but my new year's resolution begins only now.

I had an awesome conversation with a dear friend during a breakfast date last Monday (13th Jan). He told me something that opened up my mind. Towards everything. Towards some of the things that remained vague to me but he cleared them all up. In the end, it was clear to me what I wanted for my future. Thing is I just have to be strong.

Later that night, I had a conversation with some of my seniors who are about to leave SPL. They said one thing, but it pulled my heart out of my chest and immediately broke it to pieces.

"In the end, you'll end up being with the people in your own programme."

Sad, but true. An ex house mate of mine once said (when I'm in my first semester), "Together you'll be in the first semester, but it will all change in the upcoming semesters." And at that time, I was like, "Ferrealz? Nahh. It's not going to happen to us. We're good this way." But what goes around comes around. It was actually true. It happened. To me. Hence, this time, I'm not opposing the statement from my senior anymore. Because they knew better and it burns to accept the fact that one day, it will all happen, eventually.

So I finally ended my third semester. And honestly, it was the worst semester so far. I was on a lot of emotional rollercoaster this semester. I repeat, A LOT..! Been so long since I last have to feel jealous and sad and angry and depressed all the time. This semester the old habit is getting up to me again and I'm not up for it anymore in the next semester. It's VERY tiring and I'm done dealing with it.

Before I end up my post, let me just have a quick review on the first three semesters.

First semester-One of the finest moments in life. Fresh start. Uni life. New friends. I am happy with the life I had despite the fact that I have to battle up my feelings to a room mate I don't like (a silent battle I tell ya). And it ended up pretty well. (My results were quite good!)

Second semester-The best so far. Even though my bed buddy switched to another university in the Peninsula. Had some friendship crisis. Found love. Found soulmate. Have awesome friends. And it ended up very well. It ended up in a beautiful manner. I found something to look forward to for the next semester; F.R.I.E.N.D.S (Oh, my results maintained! :D )

Third semester-It kicked off well. All happy and jolly and jovial. But crisis builds up mid way through the semester. It was something that really upsets me. It was an END to the F.R.I.E.N.D.S in the second semester. :'( I really like them but I don't know what went wrong. Maybe it was my 'obsessive-possessive' attitude. Maybe it was love. Maybe it was jealousy. Maybe it was kindness. Maybe it was hatred. I don't know. I'm done trying to figure out what our problem was. So, in a nutshell, the third semester was hell for me. It was the worst, so far. Lessons learnt and I'm trying not to repeat the same mistakes again next semester. I know what to do now and I just got to build myself up over the holidays. Thank God for holidays! (Results? Not sure yet. Bet it was the worst this semester. :S )

[I guess having an 'obsessive-possessive' attitude does not do you any good. :( ]

I hope everything is better next semester. I can't handle any heartache anymore. Enough is enough.

Picture of the day. Lesson, to be learned.

So here's to a better 2014. And a better semester.

Aameen ya rabbal 'alamin.

~najwa

p/s: Bad headache! Due to improper bed time. Pain in the head. Sore eyes. Gurgh.