You

Hey you.
Yea you.

How are you?
Is everything okay?
Did you arrive safely?

I miss you already.

It's going to be a very long week after this.

I love you. I miss you. Good night Munky Boo.

:)

~najwa

p/s: Thank you for a very great week together. Walaupun terperap je, I had so much fun. As long as it is with you, kan? ;)

If There Was No You - Brandi Carlile

When I see myself, I'm seeing you too
As long as I remember it I'm feeling like I knew
That my jokes aren't funny the truth isn't true
If there was no you

If you were my boat in the deep blue sea
I'd probably sink you down
I know I should have thanked you for carrying me
But for you I would happily drown

All along your way
The darkest night, the longest day
I know what to say to make you laugh

And nothing you could do
Could make me turn my back on you
When you're looking for a fight I'm your man
When you need a friend you got my hand

What I really mean, what I'm trying hard to say is that
I'm counting on you and you got me too
My secrets aren't safe, I'm singing out of tune
If there was no you, if there was no you

All along your way
The darkest night, the longest day
I know what to say to make you laugh

And nothing you could do
Could make me turn my back on you
When you're looking for a fight I'm your man

When you need a friend you got my hand
When you need a friend you got my hand
You got my hand

~najwa

p/s: First time dengar terus suka lagu ni sebab lyrics dia.

p/p/s: Cause it's a musical kind of day with Mak Uda. :)

What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let ‘em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
(To say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, ooo

~najwa

p/s: All applause goes to Rascal Flatts for such great music and such great lyrics :)

p/p/s: This has got absolutely nothing to do with what I'm feeling right now. But who knows I might need these one day.

God and His plans

"Tuhan bergerak dengan misteri dan kebijaksanaan Dia."

"the only person you need to beat--
is the yesterday you.

kita sedar diri.
pelan2 kayuh.
dan jangan busuk hati."

[Fynn Jamal]

Fair point well made kak Fynn. Thank you.

~najwa

Gaduh

Gaduh time sekolah menengah senang nak lari. Boleh apply untuk tukar sekolah.
Gaduh time matrik, boleh tahan lagi. Sebab matrik setahun dua je.
Tapi gaduh sekarang, masa universiti?

Nak pindah?
Memang tak la. Dah la course aku ni susah nak dapat kat U lain.

Nak berenti?
Aku punye kelayakan ni tak cukup lagi untuk terus stop belajar.

The only way was to bear with it for another 3 years. I hope I am strong enough to go through all this.

~najwa

p/s: Luah sini sebab aku dalam proses memboikot Twitter.

Good things

Good thing I get to be the first to bring you to IKEA to eat meatballs.
Good thing I went to see Fynn Jamal with you.
Good thing I get to spend the whole day of the 6th of July with you.
Good thing I get to buy hamper things with you for the PEKA program.
Good thing I get to do all the nicest, fun things with you.
I hope you feel the same.
I miss you.
But I know that we'll never get to do those things again.
And the thought of it hurts me.

~najwa

What bugs me

Maybe what bugs me the most was the fact that you are not around and you don't reply me. Let alone waiting for you to start texting me first. Memang tak la.

~najwa

p/s: Yes. I'm clingy and very dependent like that when it comes to intimate relationship. Hence explains why I am so 'manja'.

p/p/s: Have you forgotten me? Did you not miss me? :(

Currently

Currently thinking of ways to avoid you.
Currently thinking of ways to be away from you.
Currently trying to erase these feelings.
Currently trying to find your replacement (which of course will never be as perfect as you. THIS is HARD. And if I can, I never want to do this).
Currently browsing through other universities that offers my course.
Currently doing anything that would take my mind of you.
Currently.
Currently.
Currently.



But how I wish things are easier for us so that I never have to do all of these things. So that both of us remain unhurt.

~najwa

p/s: Need to find work ASAP so that I can stop thinking of YOU. Thinking of you tears me apart.

Ramadhan

So today is the second day of Ramadhan.

The month where we should control our nafs.
The month where we should do good deeds.
The month where we should do nice things.
The month where we should do soul cleansing.
The month where we should repent.

I guess that is what she's doing now.
I guess I should do the same.

I am too messed up to begin with.
It's time to wake up.

~najwa

p/s: Heart is no longer here. Heart is with you. It will always be with you even though I'm with other people. It will always be with you. This heartbreak is killing me.

Kau, Aku tak suka

Aku paling tak suka bila kau berahsia
Bila kau susah cerita

Tapi aku tahu.
Aku tak boleh buat apa
Aku tak boleh paksa

Sebab hak bukan milik aku

Kan?

~najwa

p/s: Hari pertama Ramadhan dah 'banjir'. Tapi yang tu takpe. Yang tu boleh cover sebab masa tu tengah tengok cerita 'The Last Song'. Hari kedua Ramadhan lebih mencabar rupanya. Hari kedua terus mandi air mata lepas baca semua tu.. Esok macam mana pulak? :|

Dah tak ada

Dah tak ada gambar2 tu kat akaun kau.
Tak apa.
Aku faham.

~najwa

p/s: Tipu kalau kata tak sedih. Berair-air mata. Meleleh-leleh air mata. Tapi sampai bila gambar 'aku' nak terus menghiasi akaun kau kan? Takpe. Aku faham

p/p/s: Rasa macam nak deactivate akaun Twitter. What good does it do when every time you log in, you ended up crying because the Tweets there hurt you so bad.

p/p/p/s: I guess that means I'm going to lose my shoulder to cry on. The only person that can stand hearing me babbling. The only person that understands me. :'((((

maybe

maybe we should just part ways
maybe we need time away from each other
maybe
just maybe
that way
we can finally think clearly
think rationally
and go our own way

back to earth
back to life
back to reality

returning to our life where we'll live in denial
that our hearts are one
but are never together

~najwa

Dan bila putus...

Dan jika putus,
Jika semua putus, adakah kita akan berlagak seperti saling tak kenal?
Seperti kita tak pernah bebal?
Seperti kita sudah sesal?

Itu kah?

Pasti pedih jika itu jalan penyelesaiannya.

~najwa

Terkadang

Terkadang aku terfikir.

Apa jalan penyelesaian kita?

Putuskan semua yang ada dan lupa segala yang ada...

Atau terus, terus dan terus maju tanpa ada salah apa?

~najwa

My Other Half

Marah aku, kau yang redakan.
Senyap aku, hanya kau yang mampu hilangkan.
Bahagia aku, kau gembira.
Sedih aku, kau sakit bila tahu.
Sakit aku, kau jagakan.

What more can I say?
You complete me.
You are, my other half.

~najwa

Tanya, Jawab, Salah

Terkadang aku tanyakan pada diri sendiri
Kenapa begini?
Bagaimana boleh terjadi?

Stres?
Tak kuat iman?
Nafsu?
Kecewa dengan yang sebelum ini?

Atau memang kerana perasaan sebenar?
Perasan selesa dan terasa dilindungi apabila ada yang memahami diri ini lebih daripada diri ini faham diri sendiri.

Aku tak tahu.
Yang aku tahu ia salah.
Tapi aku tetap sayangkan kau.

Sayang sangat.
Sehingga tak tahu macam mana nak menghapus perasaan itu.

Sekian.

~najwa

p/s: I miss you already. You know who you are kan? ;) [Walaupun aku tak tahu kau baca atau tak post ni.]

Cuma

Sampai satu masa;
kita tak mahu apa-apa
tak mampu fikir satu benda
tak peduli apa orang kata
hanya mahu bersama
untuk selamanya

Walaupun, itu harapan saja.
Tak mengapa.

[karya Fazleena Hishamuddin, bukan aku.]

~najwa

Hurt

Do you know what it feels like to love somebody but not being able to live with them, like for EVER and EVER?

Well, it hurts.
So bad.

So bad that I feel like it's better for me to just die in a car crash than to have to object to this pain I'm feeling.
So bad that I feel like it's better for me to just die from a disease than to have to object to this pain I'm feeling.

Yes.
It hurts that bad.

~najwa

Tapi

Hanya engkau yang faham aku.
Lebih dari aku faham aku.
Hanya engkau reti aku.
Lebih dari yang lain reti aku.
Hanya engkau tahan aku.
Labih dari yang lain tahan aku.
Hanya engkau bahu aku.
Bahu lain tak sama.
Hanya engkau tisu aku.
Tisu lain tak sama.
Hanya engkau painkiller aku.
Painkiller lain tak setanding.
Hanya engkau laughing gas aku.
Gas lain tak setanding.
Hanya engkau bantal busuk aku.
Bantal lain tak sebusuk engkau.

Hanya engkau faham aku.
Hanya engkau faham aku.
Hanya engkau faham aku.

Tapi

KENAPA HANYA ENGKAU YANG TAK BOLEH UNTUK AKU?!

~najwa

p/s: Catatan zaman rebellious dan zaman kecelaruan.

Jika ada

Yang sompek itu aku
Yang buruk itu aku
Yang pecah itu aku
Yang cacat itu aku
Yang busuk itu aku
Yang cela itu aku
Yang kosong itu aku
Yang kurang itu aku.

Jadi jika ada mana-mana yang masih sanggup menerima aku, memenuhkan aku, mencantum pecah aku, aku terima. Nuff said.


~najwa

p/s: Because I am one messed up kid.