Mempertikai, Dipertikaikan

Sedih bila ada yang mempertikai keputusan kami balik semenanjung disebabkan perang tu. Katanya;

>> Fikirlah sesuatu itu secara matang

>> jgn cepat paranoid

>> mcm mane nak berjihad utk pertahankan negara sedangkan baru sikit ujian...da TAKUT

>> Jgn disebabkan penyakit MALAS...kite mudah utuk mengalah dalam mencari ilmu

>> Ingatlah di mana2 ade maut

>> Bagaimana kalau terjadi semenanjung?? kite nak pindah Sabah pulak kew??

>> Kdg2 sy x pham...bgaimane cara mereka berfikir??

>> Ibu bapa akn tenang sekiranya kite bercerita semuanya OK sahaja 

>> Menuntut ilmu itu salah satu jihad..^___^

"Kdg2 sy x pham...bgaimane cara mereka berfikir??"

"Kdg2 sy x pham...bgaimane cara mereka berfikir??"

"Kdg2 sy x pham...bgaimane cara mereka berfikir??"

Statement yang tu memang paling xleh blah! Cara dia cakap macam bagus. Dia tak sedar ke yang LIFE is LIKE THAT? He or she cannot expect people to be like them. Different people, different ways, different parents. What I mean by different parents is that some parents may tolerate us being in that kind of situation but some, they are worried as hell and couldn't bear if anything happened to their children knowing that they could have avoid risking their child.

Dan katanya lagi, 'Ingatlah di mana2 ade maut'. So true. I've been saying that to myself ever since the war and ever since mama kept asking me whether or not I want to go back to KL. Honestly, I didn't want to go back. I would really love to stay in SPL even though the war is haunting me every night and I find it really hard to sleep at night. But the thought that I'm making my mama worried sick just because of me, I decided to go back. My mama, she have high blood pressure. I don't want her to get sick worrying about me. She have got loads of things to be worried about. But I'm not gonna be one of them.

So, to those of you who are trying to look down at us because we're leaving the WAR ZONE, shut your big fucking mouth! Place yourself in our shoes and you'll know what it feels like to be us. Cakap pasal pengecut la apa la, why not korang je yang pergi perang kat Lahad Datu tu...?! Ada berani..?! Ni semua pakat ikut pindah pergi KK then enjoying yourselves kat 1B and then complaining here and there. Such a pain in the ass you know.

Cermin diri sendiri sebelum cakap apa-apa. Or it might get back to you.

~najwa

p/s: People with their one minded minds, they're getting on my nerves.

Are we safe here?

That is a question that I myself did not dare answer.

There's been a war between Malaysia and the descendant of Sultan Suluk of Philippines in Lahad Datu. And I'm currently in Sandakan. Well, SPL UMS is in Sandakan. We don't how bad it's going to be and we kept asking ourselves, "Are we going to be okay?", "Are we safe here?" and parents kept calling asking how we're doing and what actually happened. The truth is, we don't know.

Map of Sabah (for your reference, just in case)

We don't know how safe or how serious this thing is right now. And what bummed us the most is the fact that the national news said that everything is under control when people are already dead with the intrusions and gun fighting.

Above: Officers that died during the gun fighting
Below: Officers that are badly injured.

And now I'm begging all of you to pray the very best for Lahad Datu. May victory will always be with us. InsyaALLAH. Amiin.

~najwa

p/s: My hands are sore from playing badminton earlier this evening.

This is a story of why I hate goodbyes.

I know there's 'good' in goodbye but I think that only applies to goodbyes in failed relationships.

I've said enough goodbyes for now and most of them weren't really something I would like to repeat.

Conclusionally (is that even a word?), there are three main reasons why I really hated goodbyes.

First of all, there's my mom who'd always go overboard with her emotions every time me or my sister are going back to Malaysia after our holidays. But that's just mom. She have a very soft heart and I know all mothers would feel the same way when it's about saying goodbye to their children.

Goodbye = Letting go

Then there's fights before goodbyes. This, I experienced thrice. First there was this very devastating fight that leads to a break up goodbye. Yeah, that was the hardest goodbye so far. Then there's my mom & dad fighting just about half an hour before my flight. They were fighting about money; like they always do. At that time I was trying so hard to held back the tears in my eyes. I never felt like running away from home as much as I did at that time. It was really depressing. I couldn't look into my parents' eyes and couldn't really say my goodbyes properly. And I remember very clearly that I couldn't stop crying in the departure hall. I was alone and all puffed up and can't stop crying. That was one. Then there's another one, when I was about to leave home for university. We departed from Tg Malim and was apparently late for my flight. So dad sped up and was driving like a mad man! Speedometer shows 150 to 200 km/h. And mom couldn't stop babbling about how fast he was. But that's just mom. I know she's worried. And when we reached the airport my dad scolded my mom for all the noise but all the same was very thankful that we managed to arrive on time. That was again, another time when I had to say goodbye to a fighting pair of parents.

My little sister (G) and little brother (Aiman)

Lastly, knowing that you're about to leave something that you truly love is one of the hardest thing about saying goodbyes. I just had my semester break in Brunei for about a month and I dare say that this holiday was the best so far. Dad's finally got control of his moodswings and everybody was so grown up and very adorable already. I kind of liked being there and didn't feel like going back to uni at all. So, the morning of my flight day, I got up super early to look at my brothers and sisters for the last time before they went to school. I woke up to a grumpy Adib, my youngest brother. When mom asked him to say goodbye to me, he just shook my hand and waited outside. He wouldn't even look at me. I was a bit sad but then I just let him be. But mom told me that Adib didn't like goodbyes and are always acting like that every time someone is leaving. Later that night, when I was already in KK, mom texted me. She told me that she had dinner with Adib and they had a conversation. Here goes,

Mama: Adib, do you miss Wawa?

Adib: Yeah, I feel strange because this t-shirt smells like her *sniffs his Batman shirt* and it smells good. (Maybe because I did the laundry and I did washed that shirt)

Adib, my perfect little git!

So yeah. I haven't really cried over the last goodbye, but as I'm writing this, I'm crying. I couldn't stand it any longer. How I miss that little git and how I missed his cheeky attitude. And how I missed all of them so much right now!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I hated goodbye so much!

And are about to say yet another goodbye in a few days. A very good friend is moving out of UMS. Sad.

Me and my dad before my flight back to KK.

My mom and I before my flight back to KK.

~najwa

p/s: Can I just be a full time house maid in my parents' house?! I wanna go home! I wanna be with them always! ;(((

Kem Medan Kor SISPA

When I enrolled in UMS, I was determined to take the theater club as my co-curricular acivities. But then, I got the information that my campus was in Sandakan. The Sandakan campus is only a small campus with a total of around 300 students. My hert sank because the Sandakan campus have only SISPA, Bomba, Paramedic and modern music for their co-curricular activities. Sedih tahu tak dapat ikut teater. Itu impian setelah sekian lama. But then, apa boleh buat. So I joined SISPA instead. Partly because I have to. But the main reasons were because we got free uniforms plus boots and beret, outdoor activity allowance and because it is one of the most active co-curricular clubs. I mean, I have to get good marks. Being the passive me, I have to find an active club.

So, back to the main story, SISPA KK conducted a boot camp. All SISPA students have to take part. The camp was the kind that is harsh and army-like camp. Where we have to attend to physical training every morning and have to learn fire fight, search and rescue and first aid. Tapi memang best la sebab tido dalam actual camp and kawad and all that stuff. Being me, yang mata-tak-reti-dok-diam-asyik-mengusha-je-keje, I  first spot myself a very cute instructor. Oh well, what can I do, Induk's SISPA boys are not so cute. Here are some photos through out the camp.

Below are pictures throughout the camp. Pictures credit to JPAM Sabah. Sila tengok sampai muntah. Haha.

Ramai je yang merungut sebab kem ni rough and tough sangat. Tapi, what the hell. I like it anyway.

~najwa