Rules in Friendship

Since I was feeling so bad about myself and about me being a very bad friend, I decided to Google the rules in friendship. And the results were:


1-Honesty
2-Reliability
3-Respect
4- Bros Before Hoes
5-Selfless
6-Loyalty in both good times and bad
7-Patience
8- Laugh Together Cry Together
9-Constructive Criticism
10- Forgiveness
11- Don't Date a Friend's Ex
12- Don't Steal Friends
13- Take Turns
14- Stand By Your Friends
15- Don't Blow Them Off
16- Keep your words and do what you say you'll do.
17- Do not talk bad about your friends.
18- Consider their point of views
19- Offer help without expecting anything in return.
20- Do not encourage them to violate their morals and principles.


Read more here, here and here.

So that's about it. A lesson to learn.

~najwa

p/s: Hope you guys find this post beneficial for you who are lost just like me.

I have a bad feeling about this.

I know I am not always a good friend. I have moodswings. I get over-sensitive at times. And now that Yusrina is gone, I feel so.. alone. So.. empty. :(

Today I volunteered to fetch Basyiroh from the airport when nobody even bothered to fetch her. I went with Wani and Kelly. It was tiring and I am getting broke. I've been out and about every single day this week, being other people's driver and that cost me money. I did invite Na and Atiq to come with me but they refused. Well, Na refused and Atiq remained silent.

When I got back, I found that Na and Atiq were out with Syikin and Intan. That made me feel sad. We used to be so close and we used to go outing together but now, everything's changed. And what with Atiq not talking to me. I don't know but ever since she got back from KL, it seems like she's been avoiding me. 

I noticed now that livestockers are always with livestockers now and crop students are always with their own group of friends. Am I that bad of a friend that all my friends seems to be leaving me out? I can't even describe how lonely I feel right now (I am about to cry).

I don't think that things will go back to normal. I don't think I will share secrets with anyone again now. I can not rely on anybody right now.

So, from today onward, I decided to be friends with everyone but not to rely on them too much. After all, when all is lost or when everybody is busy with their friends, I will always have my Obor-obor with me :')

~najwa

p/s: Already I'm so lonesome I could die. I miss Yusrina.

Another goodbye and a birthday

This post is for Yusrina Yunus.

Selama masa final exam first semester hari tu aku dah memang nampak 'kekosongan' kat jiwa Yusrina. Dia macam tak boleh nak study. Study apa pun macam tak lekat dalam otak dia. She applied for UiTM. And Alhamdulillah, she got in. Dia dapat course chemical engineering. And semalam dia fly balik semenanjung to prepare for her registration. So, goodluck Yus. We love you so much! ;) And oh! Today's Atiq's 20th birthday! Happy birthday dear. :)

From left: Haslina, Syazwani, Tatiana, Yusrina, Atiqah, Kak Dayah, Kelly
Not in picture: ME! (I'm the photographer)

Atiq's birthday cake. Happy 20th birthday Atiq. We love you.

~najwa

p/s: I'm sure gonna miss my bed buddy and I don't want another bed buddy other than her! :(

This is a story of why I hate goodbyes.

I know there's 'good' in goodbye but I think that only applies to goodbyes in failed relationships.

I've said enough goodbyes for now and most of them weren't really something I would like to repeat.

Conclusionally (is that even a word?), there are three main reasons why I really hated goodbyes.

First of all, there's my mom who'd always go overboard with her emotions every time me or my sister are going back to Malaysia after our holidays. But that's just mom. She have a very soft heart and I know all mothers would feel the same way when it's about saying goodbye to their children.

Goodbye = Letting go

Then there's fights before goodbyes. This, I experienced thrice. First there was this very devastating fight that leads to a break up goodbye. Yeah, that was the hardest goodbye so far. Then there's my mom & dad fighting just about half an hour before my flight. They were fighting about money; like they always do. At that time I was trying so hard to held back the tears in my eyes. I never felt like running away from home as much as I did at that time. It was really depressing. I couldn't look into my parents' eyes and couldn't really say my goodbyes properly. And I remember very clearly that I couldn't stop crying in the departure hall. I was alone and all puffed up and can't stop crying. That was one. Then there's another one, when I was about to leave home for university. We departed from Tg Malim and was apparently late for my flight. So dad sped up and was driving like a mad man! Speedometer shows 150 to 200 km/h. And mom couldn't stop babbling about how fast he was. But that's just mom. I know she's worried. And when we reached the airport my dad scolded my mom for all the noise but all the same was very thankful that we managed to arrive on time. That was again, another time when I had to say goodbye to a fighting pair of parents.

My little sister (G) and little brother (Aiman)

Lastly, knowing that you're about to leave something that you truly love is one of the hardest thing about saying goodbyes. I just had my semester break in Brunei for about a month and I dare say that this holiday was the best so far. Dad's finally got control of his moodswings and everybody was so grown up and very adorable already. I kind of liked being there and didn't feel like going back to uni at all. So, the morning of my flight day, I got up super early to look at my brothers and sisters for the last time before they went to school. I woke up to a grumpy Adib, my youngest brother. When mom asked him to say goodbye to me, he just shook my hand and waited outside. He wouldn't even look at me. I was a bit sad but then I just let him be. But mom told me that Adib didn't like goodbyes and are always acting like that every time someone is leaving. Later that night, when I was already in KK, mom texted me. She told me that she had dinner with Adib and they had a conversation. Here goes,

Mama: Adib, do you miss Wawa?

Adib: Yeah, I feel strange because this t-shirt smells like her *sniffs his Batman shirt* and it smells good. (Maybe because I did the laundry and I did washed that shirt)

Adib, my perfect little git!

So yeah. I haven't really cried over the last goodbye, but as I'm writing this, I'm crying. I couldn't stand it any longer. How I miss that little git and how I missed his cheeky attitude. And how I missed all of them so much right now!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I hated goodbye so much!

And are about to say yet another goodbye in a few days. A very good friend is moving out of UMS. Sad.

Me and my dad before my flight back to KK.

My mom and I before my flight back to KK.

~najwa

p/s: Can I just be a full time house maid in my parents' house?! I wanna go home! I wanna be with them always! ;(((

berhenti

kau.

apa yang ada kat badan kau semua aku ada.
semua lubang yang ada kat badan kau semua sama dengan aku
bahagian mana yang kau tak faham?

tolonglah berhenti mengendeng kat badan aku.
tolonglah berhenti mengomel tentang segala apa yang aku lakukan.
tolonglah berhenti meraba-raba aku.
tolonglah berhenti lekatkan badan kau kat badan aku.
tolonglah berhenti.

aku bukan seorang yang ria macam kau.
harap maklum.

~najwa

p/s: Do I look like I'm gay?!

YOU!

Hey you!

Hands off my valuables!

Feet off my bed!

Mouth off from everything that I'm doing!

Hands off my body!

Get off of my life!!!


QUIT snuggling me in the mornings!

I AM NOT YOUR GAY PARTNER! GEDDIT?!

UGH!!! SERIOUSLY?!

~najwa

p/s: I need some time for myself. Get outta my space. You are suffocating me!

Sweet dreams :)

I had a very hard time sleeping last night. I couldn’t sleep. I lay on my bed tossing and turning and ended up watching the fan spinning. So, I started thinking. About people.

Have you ever heard that if you think of someone before you dozed off, they might just ended up in your dreams? Well, here goes.

The first person that came into my mind was Shrek the ‘Imaginary Friend’. I think about him for a brief second. Just wondering how’s he doing and whether or not he… misses me (I know it is an inappropriate question for someone who’s in a relationship like this). But that’s just it. I stopped there.

Then I started thinking about my future. I know I’ve said a few times that I would really love settling down in Brunei and marry some nice & romantic guy from here. But then again I came to my senses, that I was currently waiting for Mr. AT and Mr. AT the same. So he came to my mind. I first know him when I was in form 4. I remember when he used to tell me that he is never really good with girls and that I was his first girlfriend. I broke his heart when I decided to break up with him. But he never really gave up. He was always there, until my matriculation years. It was the hardest year for me. Somehow, I feel like we have this special connection between us. Because whenever I’m in trouble, he always suddenly appears out of nowhere asking about what was going on. It’s like he knew what I was going through. So after my break up with the ‘EX’, I started friends again with Mr. AT. We got really close and he confessed to me of his love once again. I was shocked because all this while I only thought of him like an older brother that I never have. But when I think through about things, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t like about him. He doesn’t smoke, he is not that friendly with girls and he is tall, with curly hair and quite buff too. I mean, come on! What more could I ever wanted from a man? And he’s been really nice to me. Not to mention very patient towards my every behavior too! So, I finally said ‘yes’ to him. And I went to bed with my every thought of him in my mind.

When the sun shines through my eyes, I realized that I was with a friend in a very large, loud crowd. It’s like we were in a concert or something. Suddenly a group of six guys appeared out of nowhere. They seemed like they were in a rush and almost knock us off when they walked past us. But they actually just stood behind us. It was crowded and very dense with people all over the place. Suddenly I felt like my right thigh was in contact with something. I turned around to see a man standing very close beside me. He was slightly taller than me, with a very fair skin, and small eyes.  He looks like he’s part Chinese and is just very cute. And bubbly too! We started talking when I noticed that some of the girls around me started glancing and whispering. Then I heard this one girl said, ’That guy is a blogger right?’ The girl behind her looked at him and just slowly nods.

‘He is funny and naughty but very flirtatious.’ She said.

Can I see you in my dreams every night? :)

I heard them and I was surprised but I decided to ignore the girls. So I just talked and laughed all the way through the show with little Mr. I-don’t-know-who. When the show ended, my friend brought me to a restaurant for dinner. From outside the restaurant I saw someone sitting inside the restaurant. He was staring at me, shock was all over his face and I bet I wore the same look on my face too. I knew exactly who he is the moment I saw him. It’s Mr. AT. He was wearing a white shirt that really shows off his physique. My friend chatted with one of the six guys that we saw earlier and they agreed to let us dine with them. It turns out that Mr. AT was one of the six guys so I had to dine with him. I was very nervous as it was my second time meeting him. There were only five of us there; me, my friend, MR. AT, Mr. I-don’t-know-who and his friend. The other three guys showed up much later. To my greatest surprise, the other three guys were Anwar Hadi, Mat Luthfi and another Mr. I-don’t-know-who. I’m guessing that all six of the guys are actually famous bloggers or vloggers. The other three guys sat at another table because ours

are just too crowded already.

All the time during dinner, I just ate silently. My friend seemed to have a really nice chat with Mr. I-don’t-know-who. I noticed that Mr. AT was always looking at me. He also said, ‘Why say you’re big when you are actually so small?’ I know exactly what he’s talking about. By the looks of it, he doesn’t really think that I was as fat like I always told him. I just smiled at him. When he finishes his food, he joined the other table to smoke. That surprises me because as far as I remember, he told me that he doesn’t smoke. Only sometimes when he was with his friends and I thought maybe this is what he meant. After dinner, all 8 of us went for a walk around the building. But I just walked and talked with him. It was very sweet. It’s as if I was on a date with him. My friend was successfully socializing with Mr. I-don’t-know-who. Mr. AT also walked me home. When we’re almost home, I was woken up to a very painful stomachache. That was when I realized that it was all a dream and I didn’t want to wake up. I want to live it through. But I ended up in the toilet anyway. Major stomachache! Almost felt like food poisoning. Guess I ate too much Cheezy Cheese Carbonara yesterday.

I started pondering again and found out that last night I went to bed thinking of Mr. AT. I might have just missed him then. Maybe that is why I dreamt of him. It was the sweetest dream I’ve had so far. And so real too. I can’t wait to be back in KL this June to meet him J

(I also have this wild thought that maybe that Mr. I-don’t-know-who is actually how Shrek looked like because yesterday I did thought of him too before I went to bed)

~najwa

p/s: Now I know why I find it really hard to draft in MS Word before actually posting in Blogger. That’s because of the goddamned green and red (and sometimes blue) underlines! Very distracting.

pp/s: Sorry for the long post. J