Moving on or move on?

Well, I know it’s been weeks since my last post but I really missed blogging. Like, SO MUCH! (Boring intro, I know. Sorry) I got so many things in my mind that I would blog about but the connection here SUCKS. It’s no fun blogging when the connection’s slowmo.

Ok. Moving on. That what I currently have in mind now. Few weeks before I got to Brunei, the EX has been texting me, reminding of the memories we once had together and when I asked him if he wanted us together again he just said that he was not sure and he didn’t mention if he missed me either. So I guessed he was just lonely and kept me in his contact list just because I’m like his booty-call or something. When I told my friends and Gee about this they all agreed that I should just shut him down and ignore him. They also said that they’ll ever forgive me, literally, if I were to be with him again because he’s hurt me so bad and I’ll be stupid if I’m with him again. So I told myself to just forget him. Ignore him. Shut him down.

But then I came across these:

‘Just because somebody hurt us once, it doesn’t mean that we have to permanently delete them from our phone book.’ (I know that but he DESERVED to be deleted from my phone book!)

‘Things change. People grow.’

And I thought she was gonna say 'People change.’ But she didn’t. That’s what made me think. I moved on I made it very clear to myself that I wasn’t gonna fall to my ex’s trap again. If she did say ‘People change’, then I know for sure that he is NOT gonna change. But she said ‘People grow’. And that got me thinking. I was thinking that people really did grow. I was thinking what if one day, the ex started to finally GROW and be matured and managed to think rationally about his past, no, OUR past, and came to me, what should I do then? Should I accept him again? Are my friends and family going to forgive me if I do that?

But the questions were left hanging. Unanswered. And I’m confused. I guess it’s better to just move on now and think less about him. I’ve been thinking too much about him already. I should stop. Keep calm and move my ass on. Yea, I think I’m gonna do that. Just let the future be future. We don’t wanna ruin the surprise now, do we? J

~najwa

p/s: I got that quotes from Mrs Ashley Marin of Pretty Little Liars. Yea, currently watching it. This drama got me thinking about a lot of things. Just for extra information, it was from Season 2, Episode 3. And today is Azim’s birthday. Happy birthday there old pal.

Final Exam

Currently kicking up some mental exercise. Final exam is here. Final exam untuk semester pertama. Kejap je dah final exam. Nanti pejam celik pejam celik, dah FINAL YEAR..! Yeayyy! (tone: sarcastic) Dream big little girl. Dream big.

Paper Intro to Agriculture, Agricultural Ecology and Etika & Akhlak dah lepas.

Next up Agricultural Chemistry. Then on the same day TITAs. Thursday Mandarin. Friday Plant Nutrition and lastly, Saturday, SISPA!!! Yeayy..!!!! :D

Next Monday, BRUNEI..! Can't wait. I'm gonna make a whole lot of lists of food to eat, to cook, to bake and a continuous list of things to-do in Brunei. I miss Brunei.

STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!

Cepatlah cepat-cepat. Cepatlah habis paper. Penat study ni. Grr...

#Study mode: ON

~najwa

p/s: Kenapa kaki cepat kebas sekarang ni ek? Kneecaps and joints problem maybe. Hmm~

Kawan Imaginasi, Halusinasi

This is a very quick morning post.

I have an imaginary friend. I mean, literally.

I have this friend of mine. I mean, he existed and he insisted that we be friends. I refused mula-mula tu seeing that I don't know him and I've had enough making friends through the phone. When he first texted me, dia cakap dia dapat my phone number when I was job hunting at Subway. I was like, 'Watdehel?'

This is how I imagine us :) [Photo from here]

Potong pendek, dia nak jugak berkawan dengan aku but he's different from the other 'phone friends' because dia cakap yang kitorang memang tak kan jumpa each other (I like the idea of not meeting each other because I'm tired of 'Bila nak jumpa?' questions from my 'phone friends') and kitorang berkawan based on our imagination. I mean, we talk crap ALL THE TIME and I had fun texting with him because he knows English. Aku jarang nak ada kawan lelaki yang berani speak English dengan aku. Well, kitorang tak ada la selalu sangat speaking tapi from what I observed, his English is quite good. Another thing that's interesting about him is that, he's an interior design student. Currently a final year diploma student studying interior design at UiTM Seri Iskandar. That's really cool.

We talked on the phone for a few times, and surprisingly, I found his voice familiar. (Suara dia reminds me of Iwan anak Cu Ina. Somewhat creepy and left me wondering whether it's true. ALWAYS!)

So, dear Wan a.k.a Shrek, here's to an everlasting-imaginary friendship. Here's to us. :)

~najwa

p/s: I Googled images of imaginary friend and are quite surprise with the results. Some of them are scary bakhanggg!!!

Cafe, oh CAFE!!

How shall I begin this entry?

Food, is what we consume everyday in order to gain energy.

Duhh! What a boring introduction.

Well, whatever. Here goes.

Tahu tak menunggu tu suatu perbuatan yang amat memenatkan? Tahu tak..? Apatah lagi bila kita sedang dalam kelaparan. Tunggu order sampai sejam setengah. Sempat habiskan bihun sup semangkuk. Pedehal..? Apa masalah makcik tu nak masak lambat-lambat. Sedih. Ada sekali tu siap potong sesuka hati je order orang sebab DIA SENDIRI YANG RASA SERABUT..! Eh, what the hell man? Geramnya. Sumpah sistem cafe kat sini memang teruk. Aigoo~ Tiap-tiap hari kalau order makanan mesti balik tu rasa serabut. Semua orang mesti stress. Tension. Makanan tengahari pulak pukul 11:00 pagi dah habis. Tu makanan pagi namanya. Lambat sikit memang tak makan la jawabnya tengahari tu. Kalau tak pun kena gagahkan diri menapak keluar kampus untuk cari makan. Haishh.. Tolong la. Kami wahai student-student ni amat memerlukan makanan okay! Jangan la sebab takut rugi kau masak sikit je. Jangan la sebab takut rugi kau tutup awal. Jangan la sebab takut tak laku kau sekat rezeki orang lain. Eh, sekat rezeki orang lain..?? Kejadah apa?

Mak cik garang tu (a.k.a Oma Bertha), pernah halau Kak Pah, one of the stall owners, away just because she was friendly with the students and she sells awesome foodstuff and beverages. Dia dengki and menggunakan kuasa yang ada pada dia (dia mak cik kepada pemegang tender cafe tu), dia suruh akak yang pegang tender cafe tu halau Kak Pah. Kesian dowh. Kejam sampai nak sekat-sekat rezeki orang. Busuk hati betul. Tak paham aku. Mula-mula kitorang boikot la Oma Bertha tu. Tapi lama-lama tak leh tahan la sebab lepas tu dia je yang bukak. Terpaksa beli makanan kat dia jugak. Siot. Kes hari ni berlaku kat kedai dia jugak la. Yang tunggu makanan sampai satu jam setengah tu. Tu la. Lain kali kalau agak-agak tak boleh nak bagi makan kat SEMUA student kat SPL ni, jangan la gatal-gatal nak halau & sekat rezeki orang lain. Kalau dah rasa-rasa tak mampu nak tanggung kerugian, tak yah bukak bisnes LANGSUNG! Kan senang. Tu pun nak kena ajar ke..? (Okay Wawa, sila kawal perasaan anda!)

I'm gonna stop now. The more I write, the more I can't control my emotions. Pfft!

~najwa

p/s: Mintak-mintak la semester depan tukar tender baru. Tolonglah pihak pentadbiran hoi..!

My Crap-talk Boys.

I once said that these two boys, Abrar and Yusri are once my crap-talk partners. Well, surprisingly, after 2 years of friendship, they still are. I just miss these two boys and our crap-talk moments. Crap conversations everyday. I love them to bits! Bila mau jumpa ni...?? Aigoo aigoo~

~najwa

p/s: Okay, rindu gila nak merapu.

Rengek

Berhenti sakitkan hati orang
Kalau diri selalu merengek bila disakiti.

~najwa

Baldi

Bila tunggu baldi penuh, aku gosok gigi
Bila tunggu baldi penuh, aku tenung paip
Bila tunggu baldi penuh, aku cuci muka
Bila tunggu baldi penuh, aku kira tiles dalam jamban
Bila tunggu baldi penuh, aku pintal-pintal rambut

Tapi, sejak hari tu,

Bila tunggu baldi penuh...
Aku hilang dalam masa
Aku tenung parut itu.
Aku tenung luka itu.
Aku terimbau luka itu.

Sehingga air melimpah keluar.

~najwa

Tutup

Tidurlah, tidur, tidur.
Tidurlah sebab bila kau tidur kau tutup.

Tutup mata.
Tutup mulut.

Bila tutup mulut,
Hidup tenang.
Hidup diam.
Hidup aman.
Teruslah tidur.

Atau..

Atau aku yang harus tidur..?

~najwa

Lethargy

Penat bercakap bila tak didengari

Penat bercakap bila syok sendiri

Penat bercakap bla akhirnya dianjing

Penat bercakap.

Penat bercakap.

Penat bercakap sendiri.

~najwa

p/s: "Silence is better than bullshit"

Kem Medan Kor SISPA

When I enrolled in UMS, I was determined to take the theater club as my co-curricular acivities. But then, I got the information that my campus was in Sandakan. The Sandakan campus is only a small campus with a total of around 300 students. My hert sank because the Sandakan campus have only SISPA, Bomba, Paramedic and modern music for their co-curricular activities. Sedih tahu tak dapat ikut teater. Itu impian setelah sekian lama. But then, apa boleh buat. So I joined SISPA instead. Partly because I have to. But the main reasons were because we got free uniforms plus boots and beret, outdoor activity allowance and because it is one of the most active co-curricular clubs. I mean, I have to get good marks. Being the passive me, I have to find an active club.

So, back to the main story, SISPA KK conducted a boot camp. All SISPA students have to take part. The camp was the kind that is harsh and army-like camp. Where we have to attend to physical training every morning and have to learn fire fight, search and rescue and first aid. Tapi memang best la sebab tido dalam actual camp and kawad and all that stuff. Being me, yang mata-tak-reti-dok-diam-asyik-mengusha-je-keje, I  first spot myself a very cute instructor. Oh well, what can I do, Induk's SISPA boys are not so cute. Here are some photos through out the camp.

Below are pictures throughout the camp. Pictures credit to JPAM Sabah. Sila tengok sampai muntah. Haha.

Ramai je yang merungut sebab kem ni rough and tough sangat. Tapi, what the hell. I like it anyway.

~najwa

Untuk mereka si Obor Obor! :)

habis sudah,
selesai sudah,
tamat sudah,
waktu gembira kita.

sekarang kita jauh,
sekarang ada yang sendiri,
tapi jangan difikir tentang itu,
kerna kita tetap dekat.

teman,
walau kini aku jauh,
walau kini aku sendiri,
walau kini aku gembira,

ingatlah,
aku sering mengeluh
aku sering terkenang,
aku sering teringat,
aku sering terimbau.

kenapa?
hanya kerana satu perasaan itu.
perasaan inginkan kalian di sisi,
di kala aku sunyi.
perasaan inginkan sokongan kalian.
di kala aku lemah.
perasaan ingin bergelak ketawa dengan kalian,
di kala teman baru di sini tidak sekepala.

perasaan itu,
perasaan rindu.

aku mahu kalian.
aku perlu kalian.

terus di sisi.
terus menyokong.
terus ingat akan si 'kerdil' ini.

dan yang penting,
terus simpan aku bersama kalian.

kerana aku,
tidak mhu kamu hilang.
kerana kamu,
kekuatan aku.

itu saja.

-5:20pm, 27/09/2012,
inilah aku, sewaktu kelas Etika & Akhlak-

*Semoga ukhwah yang terjalin terus kekal seperti dahulu untuk selamanya.

I love you MH1P1. :')

The Oborians with Mama Gee, Last English class, 2nd Semester, PDT.

Choral Speaking Photoshoot for Malam Juara-Juara - PDT.

After winning the choral speaking competition in conjunction of the English Month - PDT

Us girls with Teacher Syazwani, last Maths class, 2nd Semester, PDT.

Them boys with Teacher Syazwani, last Maths class, 2nd Semester, PDT.

~najwa

p/s: Selamat menyambut tahun baru, 2013.

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