Being uber selfish.
Doing shit to people.
Doing shit to my studies.
Doing shit to myself.
I ignored other people's feelings.
I put mine first.
And at times, I put other's first.
Until that one time when my own heart bleeds,
I woke up, realizing my mistake
and continued to ignore other people's feelings.
And it goes on and on and on.
And after all these time, what did I won?
A friendship.
From one particular person.
Who is in need of someone other than me.
Who sacrifices her own friendship for a brat like me.
Who cries as she remembers her other half.
Who swallow all her feelings away as she was with me but reminiscing other people.
Who remains strong even after everything.
And after all these time, what did I lose?
A lot more.
A few friends.
Respect.
Sense of belonging.
Sense of being a social butterfly.
Self-respect.
Time for myself.
Despite all the things that I lost,
And all the things that I selfishly won,
There's still a hole in me.
I guess, greed and selfishness won't do you justice.
And won't guarantee you peace.
For that I am very sorry.
For my greed and my selfishness caused you, you and you major losses.
Just to keep up with my attitude.
Sorry.
Next semester
I'll try to be better.
Even though there's a thousand of apologies stated here,
I know none of you will read this.
But I just hope that Allah will send all my prayers to you guys.
Sorry.
 |
| Rindu kalian. Sangat. Teramat. Sorry. :'( |
~najwa
p/s: Not hoping to get the friendship back. Just a simple relationship will do. And I'll try to fix myself over the semester break.
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